When i was growing up .....i carved a world around me......lived and rejoiced in it......happiness....pain...didnt make a difference to me.......it was my harem.......dad mentioned to me that you need to endure your pain all alone......build that experience as your strength .....remember those moments of your lives where you look around to find no one......this would teach you that its your journey and you have to walk alone........You would feel a strong presence of the almighty around .....guiding you around......Later part of my life the emotions never reflected on my face ......people seem to recognize me as a happy go lucky kinds........years of having drowned my emotions in myself, had rendered me kinda emotionless practically......couple of people did try to reach out to my inner self...... alas they hurt me in the bargain.......when they left.........each morning i wake up with a void of not having them around me and the question of living an entire life without them.........but life doesnt wait......sometimes its a mixed bag of emotions......you are happy to find some positive changes in your life....but you dont have that one person with whom you wanted to share this happiness.I reach out to people to know their views.....but none suffice the pain.......i dont know why my man put me through this.........well he isnt answering either.......so now i sit in my harem soaking my thoughts with the good times i shared with the special one .........does that person hear me???